Never Alone: How OneFamily Turns October 7 Grief Into Collective Strength

Three years after the October 7 massacre, the Jewish people face a stark choice: let the memory harden into routine, or transform grief into action. For OneFamily, the answer has been clear. The organization that has spent 25 years healing terror victims now carries a burden five times larger, proving that while 'Never Again' failed as a promise, 'Never Alone' can succeed as a mission.

On October 7, 2023, the world witnessed the deadliest day for the Jewish people since the Holocaust. Some 1,200 souls were murdered in a single morning, and 251 were taken hostage. The vow we grew up with, the guarantee we thought we had, broke at dawn. We learned a terrible truth: saying 'Never Again' cannot make it true.

From Broken Vows to a New Promise

As we approach the third anniversary, we must speak differently. We cannot promise what will never happen to us. But we can promise one another what we will do. We will never forget. And no one will be left alone. This is the covenant that binds us, from the hills of Jerusalem to the communities of the Diaspora.

We already know what 'alone' costs. Holocaust survivors lost entire families and then found no one to help them carry that weight. There were no support groups, no language for trauma. They rebuilt their lives in silence, and their children grew up in that silence. We can ensure that never again is a bereaved family left to grieve without a hand to hold.

The Birth of OneFamily: A Bat Mitzvah That Changed Everything

In August 2001, our daughter Michal was 12, preparing for her bat mitzvah in Jerusalem, when a suicide bomber struck the Sbarro restaurant, killing 15 people. Michal canceled her celebration and gave the money to the victims' families. As we met those families, we saw needs that extended far beyond the first weeks. No one in the world was providing long-term care for terror victims. That gap became OneFamily.

Twenty-five years have taught me this: grief does not shrink on a schedule. The world imagines healing moves in a straight line, each year lighter than the last. In truth, trauma comes in waves. The third year is often among the hardest. The funerals are over, the meals have stopped arriving. The people who called every week now call only on the anniversary. This is when a widow finally faces the paperwork she could not bear to open. It is when a teenager who held himself together for his mother starts to come apart.

The Numbers Behind the Sorrow

Since October 7, more than 1,600 families have joined OneFamily's circle of bereaved families, along with 316 new widows and widowers and 37 twins who lost their twin. In three years, we have taken under our care more bereaved families than in the 22 years before. We now support more than 5,300 children, teens, and young adults, and more than 3,200 bereaved parents. Our annual budget has grown nearly fivefold since 2022.

Behind each number is a home that has stopped working. A mother who no longer cooks because setting the table means facing an empty chair. A father who cannot focus at work. Parents so consumed by the son they lost that the children still at home begin to feel invisible. Bereavement is not only sorrow. It is the slow collapse of ordinary life, and it rarely shows from the outside.

A Collective Responsibility for World Jewry

Our collective responsibility has grown since October 7, not shrunk. This is not only Israel's burden. It belongs to the whole Jewish people, in Jerusalem and Johannesburg, in Toronto and Tel Aviv, in New York and Netivot. Recovering from October 7 will take generations of work as a community and as worldwide Jewry: to learn, to remember, to see the pain of others, to lean in and care, and to heal.

The greatest danger now is not that we will forget October 7. It is that we will get used to it. After three years of sirens, headlines, and funerals, even the kindest heart builds calluses. The days of remembrance ahead are our chance to peel them back and feel again. Learn one name and its story. Call the family you have been meaning to call. Support the unglamorous, long-term work of the therapists and volunteers who stay after the cameras leave.

What Actually Helps: The Option B Principles

We have learned what helps. OneFamily's approach is built on principles drawn from Option B, the book Sheryl Sandberg wrote with psychologist Adam Grant after the sudden death of her husband. Three principles matter most. First, people need to know they are not alone. Second, the most helpful support comes from those who have suffered a similar loss. Third, meeting someone farther along the same road gives hope that today's acute grief will not last forever.

So we bring widows together with widows, parents with parents, orphans with orphans. In a room with people who truly understand each other, the bereaved find words for what they could not say anywhere else.

Full Circle: From Care Received to Care Given

I have seen what this looks like when it works. Widows who came to us after the Second Intifada now sit with young women widowed in 2024 and say, simply, 'I know. I'm here.' Children who grew up in our programs now mentor children who lost a parent in Gaza or on the Lebanese border. What began as care received has become care given, full circle, again and again. That is the answer I can offer to the broken promise of Never Again: Never alone.

We will come through this stronger. I believe that completely. But strength does not mean the pain is gone. It means we carry it together. We can emerge grieving but strong, missing the people we love but full of love. That is not a slogan. It is work, and it belongs to all of us.

The writer is the chairman and co-founder of OneFamily, Israel's national organization supporting victims of terror and war and their families. His wife, Chantal Belzberg, received the 2026 Israel Prize in recognition of their 25 years of work healing the nation.

Frequently Asked Questions

How many families has OneFamily helped since October 7?

Since October 7, more than 1,600 families have joined OneFamily's circle of bereaved families, along with 316 new widows and widowers and 37 twins who lost their twin. The organization now supports more than 5,300 children, teens, and young adults, and more than 3,200 bereaved parents.

What is OneFamily's approach to supporting terror victims?

OneFamily's approach is built on three principles: people need to know they are not alone, the most helpful support comes from those who have suffered a similar loss, and meeting someone farther along the same road gives hope. The organization brings widows together with widows, parents with parents, and orphans with orphans.

Why is the third year after loss often the hardest?

The third year is often among the hardest because the funerals are over, the meals have stopped arriving, and the people who called every week now call only on the anniversary. This is when a widow finally faces the paperwork she could not bear to open, or a teenager who held himself together starts to come apart.