Before Tisha B'Av: The Quiet Lessons from Singapore and Japan for Rebuilding Israeli Society

As we approach Tisha B'Av, the most solemn day on the Jewish calendar, we are reminded that Jewish history is never random. The Sages teach that no major event occurs by happenstance; they rearrange the letters of mikreh (accidental) to form rak me'Hashem (strictly from God). This year, as we reflect on the destruction of both Temples and the litany of tragedies tied to this day, we must ask ourselves: What can we learn from distant societies to mend our own?

The Talmud offers many reasons for Jerusalem's fall: desecration of Shabbat, neglect of education, lack of shame, failure to rebuke, and disparagement of Torah scholars. The most famous indictment blames sin'at hinam (baseless hatred) for the Second Temple's destruction. But while these 'big' sins demand major change, there are smaller, more accessible practices that can evoke God's mercy and reverse misfortune.

I recently returned from a tour of the Far East with my wife Susie. From the moment we arrived in Singapore, we noticed subtle yet powerful practices that positively affect those societies. In Singapore, laws are strictly adhered to. Drivers respect road signs, signal at turns, and rarely honk. Motorized vehicles never endanger pedestrians on sidewalks. The streets are spotless; people carry trash for hours rather than litter. Spitting is punishable, and gum is banned to keep pavements clean.

In Japan, respect for others' space is paramount. No eating on the streets, no public displays of affection, and modest clothing prevail. Silence rules: no one speaks in elevators, conversations are whispers on buses and trains, and phones are on silent mode. Tipping is considered an insult; a waitress might chase you to return 'forgotten' money. Taxi drivers expect no extra recompense.

In Thailand, passersby smile and bow, placing hands together to offer blessings. They often say 'Kop kun' (thank you) even for nothing special.

All this left a deep impression. How often are we besieged by noise pollution in Israel? Honking cars, parents screaming at children, yelling across crowded restaurants, and speakerphone conversations on buses. Must I dodge electric bikes on sidewalks, unable to look at the scenery for fear of being bowled over?

We have two Hebrew words that address these situations: kavod (honor) and tzniut (modesty). Kavod is the honor we show others, assuming they want the same consideration we do. It is honor for the law, for our city, and for our neighbors. Tzniut is more than modest clothing; it is respecting others' space and maintaining peace and serenity. It is humbling ourselves by not believing we are better than others.

Every time we let someone finish their idea without interrupting, we signal their value. These are the 'little things' that add up to a lot. If we truly want to rebuild the Beit Hamikdash, we must begin in our own dalet amot (small spaces): in stores, synagogues, and on the streets. It starts with us.

The writer is director of the Jewish Outreach Center of Ra'anana.